LANDMARK RULING, CASE NO. 24: TEAM DOUBLE TEXT V. TEAM PLAY IT COOL
Is double texting bad?
Double texting is not bad in itself: one friendly follow-up after a reasonable wait is normal, and dating app data suggests a second message gets far more replies than silence. What experts warn against is a string of anxious messages to someone who has not answered, because no reply after a follow-up is usually your reply. Judge Whiskerton rules for the single, well-timed double text.
Team Play It Cool is guilty of aggravated waiting.
Sentence: Send one friendly follow-up, then put the phone in a drawer for a day.
The case for Team Double Text
Team Double Text's star witness is Hinge. In 2017, the dating app looked at more than 300,000 US conversations from two weeks in May to see what happened when someone sent a second message after the first was ignored. The average double text went out about four hours later, and a second message did far better than staying silent. Global Dating Insights reports that four hours gives the other person enough time to finish whatever delayed their reply.
Hinge's newer research points the same way. In an April 2025 survey of more than 3,000 daters, 49 percent said they had held back from messaging after a great first date because they worried about seeming too eager, and 75 percent said they expect a follow-up the same day or the next. Hinge's summary: if you are waiting for them to text first, chances are they are waiting too.
Some experts agree a follow-up is fair. Life coach Nina Rubin told Elite Daily to send a second text if you had a great time on the first date and are about 80 percent certain your date did too, and biologist Dawn Maslar said that if you do not hear back within a day or two, you can follow up with another text.
The case for Team Play It Cool
Team Play It Cool has experts too. Relationship expert Susan Winter told Women's Health that "panic and insecurity can be sensed from a mile away" and that she likes to see "a good volley," with messages going back and forth. Her main exception is logistics: information you actually need.
Others say silence is the message. Psychotherapist and dating coach Pella Weisman told Elite Daily, about a date who does not reply, to "take their lack of communication as an answer," and matchmaker Maria Avgitidis said the ball is in their court.
Texts also get read closely. In Hinge's D.A.T.E. report, which surveyed 15,000 daters, 2 out of 3 said they look at response time when deciding if someone is interested. Team Play It Cool's fear is reasonable: every message is studied like evidence.
The court's ruling
Both sides agree on more than they think. Nobody, including Hinge, recommends a stack of five unanswered texts, and nobody serious says a single follow-up is a crime. The real question is how many, and how soon.
On that question, Team Play It Cool's strategy fails. Waiting for the other person to go first, while they wait for you, is how good chats quietly die. Team Play It Cool is guilty of aggravated waiting, and is sentenced to send one friendly follow-up, then put the phone in a drawer for a day.
How to settle it on your phone
Use a one-follow-up rule. Send your first message. If it goes unanswered, wait at least a few hours, then send one follow-up that is easy to answer, such as a plan, a question, or a callback to something they said. If that also goes unanswered, stop. Silence after a follow-up is an answer.
The rule works the same on Hinge, Tinder, or any other app, where chats stall all the time and a second message costs you very little. In a steady relationship, a second text is just talking. If you still disagree, file both sides and let Judge Whiskerton rule.
Questions people ask
- Is double texting bad on Hinge?
- No. Hinge's own 2017 analysis of more than 300,000 conversations found a second message did far better than silence, with the average double text sent about four hours after the first.
- Is double texting bad on Tinder and other dating apps?
- One follow-up is fine on any app. Keep it light and easy to answer, and stop if the second message also gets no reply.
- Is double texting bad in a relationship?
- Usually not. In an established relationship, the court holds, a second text is ordinary conversation. For a new relationship, Dr. Tara Fields told Women's Health to assume the other person just spaced out before reading meaning into a slow reply.
- Why is double texting seen as bad?
- Because people read texts closely. In Hinge's D.A.T.E. report, 2 out of 3 daters said they look at response time to judge interest, so a quick second text can read as anxious.