LANDMARK RULING, CASE NO. 13: TEAM WAIT V. TEAM LUNCH
Is it rude to eat in front of someone?
In most situations, no: eating your own food in front of someone is normal, and offering to share is a nice touch when it makes sense. That includes eating in front of someone who is fasting, including during Ramadan: the deputy executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations has said Muslims typically do not mind others eating around them, though it varies by person. Judge Whiskerton rules for lunch, served with a little courtesy.
Team Wait is guilty of unlicensed lunch policing.
Sentence: Eat your own sandwich, offer when it fits, and never wave fries at anyone.
The case for Team Wait
Team Wait's argument is about kindness. If you are eating and the person across from you cannot, a big plate of fries can feel like a show for an audience of one. Some etiquette advice keeps food out of moments where only one person is eating: the etiquette firm Debrett's, in tips for a Poly hybrid working guide, advised people to avoid eating during video calls and to eat before joining a meeting instead.
Workplace guides for Ramadan add a gentle version of the same idea. Employment Hero, an HR software company, suggests eating in a pantry, cafeteria, or break room where possible, and notes that some fasting colleagues may prefer that you eat elsewhere or at another time.
Fasting takes real effort. During Ramadan, SHRM reports, Muslims who are healthy and have reached puberty are required to abstain from eating, drinking, and smoking from dawn until sunset (people who are ill or pregnant, among others, may be unable to fast), so the case for small courtesies is easy to understand.
The case for Team Lunch
Team Lunch has the most direct testimony. Edward Ahmed Mitchell, deputy executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, told SHRM that it varies by person, but Muslims typically do not mind others eating around them, and it does not offend or bother them. He said coworkers should not feel uncomfortable eating near Muslim colleagues.
The same article notes that Muslim parents who fast still see their young children eat, since children are not required to fast. Eating near someone who is fasting is an everyday part of the month, not an insult.
Even the Ramadan guides that suggest discretion say to ask rather than assume. Employment Hero notes that some Muslim colleagues would rather you not treat them any differently than usual. Turning every lunch into a secret mission is not required.
The court's ruling
Team Lunch wins. Eating your own food in front of someone is not rude, whether they already ate, are on a diet, or are fasting. What can be rude is how you do it: eating loudly, waving food around, or narrating how good it tastes.
Team Wait is guilty of unlicensed lunch policing and is sentenced to let people eat their sandwiches in peace. Team Lunch keeps one duty: offer to share when it fits, and skip the offer for anyone fasting, since Mitchell specifically asked coworkers to avoid offering food during Ramadan.
How to settle it at work
If a colleague is fasting, ask once what they prefer, then follow their lead. Many will tell you to go ahead. If you are planning a team lunch during Ramadan, consider a different time or format so nobody is left out.
At home or with friends, the old rule still works: if you have food and they do not, offer some. If you still disagree, file both sides and let Judge Whiskerton rule on your version of the debate.
Questions people ask
- Is it rude to eat in front of someone who is fasting for Ramadan?
- Generally no. CAIR's deputy executive director has said Muslims typically do not mind others eating around them, though preferences vary. Be discreet, ask if unsure, and do not offer them food.
- Is it rude to eat in front of someone who is not eating?
- Not if you are eating your own meal. Offer to share if it is easy, and keep the commentary about how good it tastes to a minimum.
- Is it rude to eat meat in front of a vegetarian or vegan?
- Usually not. Eating your own meal is fine. Joking about their choices or pushing food on them is where it turns rude.
- Is it rude to eat during a video call?
- It can be. The etiquette firm Debrett's advises avoiding eating on video calls, since it draws attention away from what you are saying, and eating before the meeting instead.