LANDMARK RULING, CASE NO. 19: TEAM HONK V. TEAM SNIFFLE
Is it rude to blow your nose at the table?
Mostly, yes: it is rude to blow your nose at the table, and etiquette experts say to excuse yourself and do it away from the meal, and never into a cloth napkin. In Japan it is frowned upon even more, so step out to the restroom. Judge Whiskerton rules that the honk belongs in the restroom, and so does the endless sniffle.
Team Honk and Team Sniffle are both guilty of nasal disturbance.
Sentence: Say excuse me, leave the table, and handle the nose like the private matter it is.
The case for Team Honk
Team Honk's first argument is necessity, and it has a famous ally. In 1745, a 13-year-old George Washington copied out the Rules of Civility, and Rule 90 says not to spit, cough, or blow your nose at meals "except when there is a necessity for it." Even the strictest old rulebook admitted that sometimes a nose cannot wait.
The second argument is that the alternative can be worse. InsideJapan Tours, explaining Japanese manners to Western visitors, puts the Western view plainly: in Western countries it is generally rude not to blow your nose. A table of people listening to one guest sniff for an hour is not having a better dinner.
And blowing your nose is not a crime. Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute told Chow magazine that blowing your nose in public is acceptable, if not very charming. A runny nose at dinner is not a character flaw. It is a cold.
The case for Team Sniffle
Team Sniffle says the table is the one place a nose should stay quiet, and the experts agree on that part. In the same interview, Peter Post said you should leave the dinner table to blow your nose if possible. His reasoning: on the subway, people can edge away, but at the table they are stuck next to you and your germs.
Japan backs Team Sniffle even harder. Japan Dev's guide to Japanese manners says blowing your nose in public is seen as unsanitary and disrespectful, and that many Japanese people prefer to discreetly sniffle until they can find a private place. InsideJapan Tours says blowing your nose in public is frowned upon there, and that it is especially rude to do it at the table.
There is a hygiene point too. The CDC lists after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing as a key time to wash your hands, along with before and after eating. Blow your nose at the table, and the next thing your hands touch may be the shared bread basket.
The court's ruling
Both sides are guilty, of opposite crimes. Team Honk is guilty of a trumpet solo over the mashed potatoes. Team Sniffle is guilty of an hour of snuffling, which Peter Post warned can be almost as bad, since people can hear it even if they do not have to see it.
The fix is the same one every source points to: excuse yourself. It is quick, it spares the table, and it lets you wash your hands on the way back. Both parties are sentenced to say excuse me and leave the room.
How to settle it at home
Keep tissues in your pocket, not your napkin. The Etiquetteer column notes that tablecloths and cloth napkins are never for noses, and that a paper napkin is an emergency stopgap at best.
If a drip ambushes you mid-bite, turn away from the table, deal with it quickly and quietly, then go wash your hands. If you are eating in Japan, where blowing your nose in public is frowned upon, step out to the restroom even for a small blow.
Still arguing about whose sniffle started it? File both sides and let Judge Whiskerton rule.
Questions people ask
- Is it rude to blow your nose at the table in a restaurant?
- Yes, in most places. Excuse yourself to the restroom. If it truly cannot wait, turn away, be quick and quiet, and use a tissue, not the cloth napkin.
- Is it rude to blow your nose at the table in Japan?
- Yes. Blowing your nose in public is frowned upon in Japan, and especially at the table. Excuse yourself to the restroom. Japan Dev reports that many Japanese people prefer to sniffle discreetly until they can find a private place.
- Can you blow your nose in a napkin?
- Never in a cloth napkin. A paper napkin is an emergency fix at best, so carry tissues when you have a cold.
- Is sniffling at the table better than blowing your nose?
- Japan Dev says many Japanese people prefer to sniffle discreetly until they can find a private place. At the table, Peter Post says sniffling can be almost as bad as a nose blow. Excusing yourself solves both problems.
Sources
- Smithsonian, George Washington: A National Treasure: The Rules of Civility
- barfblog: Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute, quoted in Chow, on nose blowing at the table
- InsideJapan Tours: Japanese etiquette 101, our top 10 tips
- Japan Dev: Disrespectful things to do in Japan
- CDC: About handwashing
- Etiquetteer: How to blow your nose