LANDMARK RULING, CASE NO. 8: TEAM PRACTICAL V. TEAM SENIORITY
Who sleeps on which side of the bed?
There is no rule for who sleeps on which side of the bed, and no rule about men or women either. Most couples simply keep their own side, and when people do choose one, the reasons are usually practical, like the nearest outlet, bathroom, or door. Judge Whiskerton rules that each side goes to whoever needs it most.
Team Seniority is guilty of squatting on prime mattress real estate.
Sentence: Give the bathroom side to whoever gets up at night, no speeches.
The case for Team Practical
Team Practical says a side of the bed is a tool, not a trophy. In 2014 and 2015 surveys of U.S. adults for mattress maker Saatva, run by the research firm Kelton, the factor most often said to decide a side was being near an electrical outlet (75%), followed by the bathroom (67%), a window (58%), and the door (48%).
Their point is that most people never really chose. Over half of adults in those surveys said they did not consciously pick their side, and 20% said they would choose the opposite side if they could start over. If the original pick was an accident, Team Practical says, it should not become a lifetime lease.
The gender data is thin, too. More Americans prefer the right side, and the gap between men (58%) and women (50%) is only 8 points. Nothing in it points to a man's side or a woman's side.
The case for Team Seniority
Team Seniority says a side, once claimed, is home. In a 2023 YouGov poll of 4,228 British adults, 77% said they and their partner each have their own side of the bed, while just 4% said they sleep on whichever side. Researcher Paul C. Rosenblatt, who interviewed couples for his book Two in a Bed, found that almost everybody had a side and stayed there much of the time.
Habits run deep. In the Saatva surveys, 40% of adults said they had always slept on the same side, and 20% said switching would be hard if a partner wanted the same one. Coupled Americans were more willing to give up control of the TV remote than their preferred side of the bed, 51% to 37%.
Seniority also heads off a common fight: 46% of couples in those surveys said both partners wanted the same side when they got together.
The court's ruling
Team Seniority has history on its side, and most couples do keep a side for good. But history is not a reason. More than half of adults in the Saatva surveys never chose their side on purpose, and the top reasons for choosing one are practical: a plug for the phone, a short walk to the bathroom, a quick exit for the early riser.
Team Seniority is guilty of squatting on prime mattress real estate. The court orders sides assigned by need, with the bathroom side going to whoever makes the nightly trip.
How to settle it at home
Each of you lists what you need from a side: an outlet, the bathroom, the door, the window, or distance from the snorer. Whoever needs a side more gets it. If the needs tie, the person who was there first keeps it, because Team Seniority deserves something.
Still at a standoff? Try a week on the other side before deciding, or file both sides and let Judge Whiskerton rule on your bedroom.
Questions people ask
- What side of the bed does the man sleep on?
- There is no rule. In U.S. surveys for Saatva, 58% of men and 50% of women said they prefer the right side, so both lean right and the gap is small.
- What side of the bed should I sleep on?
- The one that fits your needs. In the Saatva surveys, people most often picked a side to be near an outlet, then the bathroom, a window, and the door.
- Which side of the bed is left and which is right?
- Agree on it out loud before you argue. Left and right flip depending on whether you are lying in the bed or standing at the foot of it, which is an easy way to mix them up.
- Do most couples have their own side of the bed?
- Yes. In a 2023 YouGov poll of British adults, 77% said they and their partner each have their own side, and only 4% sleep on whichever side.