LANDMARK RULING, CASE NO. 3: TEAM WET V. TEAM NOT WET
Is water wet?
By most scientists' definition, no: water is not wet, but it makes other things wet. Wetness is described as a liquid clinging to a surface, and water cannot cling to itself. Merriam-Webster's definition of wet includes consisting of liquid, which lets Team Wet argue yes, but Judge Whiskerton sides with the scientists who define wetness that way.
Team Wet is guilty of framing water for its own crime.
Sentence: Dry off with a towel and thank it for being the wet one.
The case for Team Wet
Team Wet's best witness is the dictionary. Merriam-Webster's first definition of wet is consisting of, containing, covered with, or soaked with liquid, such as water. Water consists of liquid. Case closed, says Team Wet, and on paper they are not wrong.
There is also the common sense argument. Put your hand in a lake and everything about it feels wet. Team Wet argues that any bit of water is surrounded by more water, so water is always covered in water, which sounds about as wet as anything can get.
Team Wet also points out that the people asking this question are not physicists. In everyday speech, wet just means watery, and water is the most watery thing there is.
The case for Team Not Wet
Most scientists who define wetness are on Team Not Wet's side, though some still debate it. Daniel Schumayer, a physicist at the University of Otago, answered a child's question in the Otago Daily Times by saying that we call something wet when water has spread over it and is clinging to it, but we rarely say that water itself is wet. Wetness takes two things: the water and whatever it sticks to.
The physics comes down to two forces. Cohesion is water sticking to water, and adhesion is water sticking to something else. Whether a surface gets wet depends on the balance between them, which scientists measure as the contact angle. Below 90 degrees, water spreads out and wets the surface. Above it, water beads up instead, the way it does on an oily pan.
That is why a Boston College Libraries answer put it simply: wetness is the ability of a liquid to stick to the surface of a material, so water is not actually wet. Water does not get wet. It does the wetting.
The court's ruling
Team Wet has a real dictionary definition, and nobody will arrest you for calling a puddle wet in casual speech. But the question was whether water itself is wet, and most scientists who describe wetness say it is something water does to other things.
Water is the cause of wetness, not a victim of it. Team Wet is guilty of framing water for its own crime, and is sentenced to dry off with a towel and thank it for being the wet one.
How to settle it at home
Ask what wet means before you argue. If wet means made of liquid, water is wet, and so is every glass of juice. If wet means covered by a liquid that clings to you, water is not wet, but you are after you touch it.
For a kitchen demo, put a drop of water on a paper towel and another on an oily pan. Same water, very different wetness. If the fight survives the demo, file both sides and let Judge Whiskerton rule.
Questions people ask
- Is water wet scientifically?
- By the usual scientific definition, no. Most scientists describe wetness as a liquid's ability to cling to a surface. Water makes other things wet, but it cannot stick to itself in that way, though some scientists still debate it.
- Is water wet by definition?
- By one dictionary sense, yes. Merriam-Webster defines wet as consisting of, containing, covered with, or soaked with liquid, and water consists of liquid.
- Is water wet itself?
- Not in the scientific sense. A University of Otago physicist explained that we call something wet when water spreads over it and clings to it, and we rarely say water itself is wet.
- Is water wet, yes or no?
- No, by most scientists' definition and by the court's ruling. Yes, if you go by the loosest dictionary sense.